Friday, February 11, 2011

When the babys away...

Being away from your child induces a weird mix of emotions. 
My MIL asked if she could take H for the weekend and I always hesitate, and for no other reason than I won't be with her..simple enough. I know how much H loves her time with her Gamma and Aunts so I, of course, send her their way. 
Its such an unfamiliar feeling to come home and be completely unscheduled and totally free of responsibility. We have the opportunity to be kinda selfish. No baths to give, no checking to make sure the 20 markers being flung around her room have caps on them, no sleeping with one ear open for the monitor. I am baby-less for 3 days which means I am able to let the mommy side of me completely rest for 3 days...

Breathing is a little lighter when you are baby-free. Its not in a good or bad way...although its a little good. Its nice to get a break from the stress of sticking to schedule, making sure to fit in all the attention, nutrition, hugs, kisses, fun, cleaning and sleep she needs before we get up and do it all over again.

I was enjoying my Cali-time (vs mommy-time) when I felt that squeezing feeling inside that I needed to hear my babys voice. I wasn't able to smell her sweet, strawberry-like smell but I could hear her delicious voice. She was napping when I called but a little while later my phone rings and I hear nothing...then "HI Mommy."
"HI BABY!! I miss you! were you napping?"
"Did you just wake up?" 
"are you having fun?" 
(I was waiting for her favorite word to sneak its way into the conversation. As she said it I could picture her silly little head tilting as she raised her shoulder towards it while flashing that stinky grin.)
"i love you baby..can you say I love you mommy?" 
"::insert Haydens attempt at 'I love you'::" 
"I LOVE YOU!! bye bye baby" 
"bye mommy" and she hung up 
(obviously my child is not clever enough to call me on her own and hang up but my MIL sure made it feel that way and I loved it!) 
Hearing my daughter say "mommy" could make me spew rainbows it makes me so freaking mushy gushy. It literally sends warm tingles through my soul. Knowing that in a few days I will see her scrumptious face with arms outstretched waiting to be held against my heart makes me feel so blessed to have family I know love and care for her beautifully but also that I have such a bond with my child that she enjoys her time away but also can't wait to come home!

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