A Long Ass Birth Story

Since I didn't start my blog until after H's 1st birthday I figured I would post her birth story now. Its long & not too eventful (thankfully) but it was such an awesome day in our lives that I had to share.

After having contractions for weeks (and a trip to the dr to be monitored for 45mins only to be sent home feeling like a nut job) hubby and I went to see The Hangover. I guess the belly laughs (and some "natural labor inducing remedies") got baby ready to rock because by 8:30pm my daily contractions got stronger & were about 5mins apart. Being my overzealous self I called the dr & he said to go to the hospital to get checked so we got everything together and off we went.

 Heading to the hospital, praying that this is it!

Looking back and knowing what I know now I fully could have labored at home for MUCH longer but I was too excited. We arrived at 10:30pm and were assigned the most amazing nurse. She checked me, said I was around 2.5cms (I was slightly over 1cm on Wednesday when the dr did something called stripping membranes but lets not go there) and after being hooked up to the monitor she saw that my contractions were strong and about 2-4min apart. She had us walk the halls for about 2 hours (for me, this meant getting a snack at every vending machine we passed because I didn't know when I would be allowed to eat next.) Yes, I needed to get further along before being admitted but I now realize that she probably did this to get me checked in after midnight so I would get a longer hospital stay because she, as previously mentioned, was awesome!

 Here I am in all my sexy hospital gown glory walking the halls

My contractions were getting stronger but I was still walking and talking through them so we decided to make a few "The baby is coming!!" phone calls. Around 1:30am they admitted me (I was slightly over 3cms.) They offered an epidural at the get go but I declined. I knew I would get one later on but I really wanted to experience as much of my labor as possible-I also wanted to be able to walk around or shower if I wanted.

At 3:20am the Dr came in and told me they would like to break my water to get things going and offered an epi again saying the contractions would get a lot more intense but I still wanted to wait...because I'm a badass.
Once they broke my water I got to sit a glorified wee-wee pad the rest of my labor..awesome. The Dr was apparently all comfy cozy & sleeping away in a room somewhere while my contractions got really intense. They were getting really hard to breathe through and they were horribly painful in my back. Gail, the awesome nurse, said the shower helps a lot so I went in and it was amazing. After being in there for about an hour I realized my skin was comparable to a lobster so I got out. Apparently "an hour" in my mind was a few hours in real life because by the time I got out it was light out.

 Here's the excited Daddy just waiting for this labor nonsense to hurry the hell up!

As I got out of the shower I sat down & tried to keep breathing through my contractions but they had gotten so painful & close together that there was barely time in between them to catch my breath..bring on the epidural!! 

I was very happy with my decision to wait as long as possible and I was also very happy with my decision to get the epi because I could finally breathe and sleep! At 6:30am Mr.Epidural came in..and he was an asshat. He was having trouble getting the epi in & kept telling me I had "a lot of bones in my back"--what the fuck does that even mean?! He then asked me if I was sure that my back surgery was where I was saying it was and if I was sure I knew what I had done..SERIOUSLY?! Anthony got so annoyed he chimed in & Mr. Asshat suggested he "go get a cup of coffee" (read: get the fuck out) and Ant did, which is good since he probably would've gotten into a fight with the man who was about to stick a giant thing in my spine. 2 shots of Novocain & failed attempts later he called in another guy who actually passed 3rd grade and he got it in. BLISS! My blood pressure started dropping so they gave me oxygen and I stayed on and off it until I delivered.

At 7am Gail came in to tell me her shift was over. I told her she was amazing and thanked her so much while in my head I was yelling "NOOOO!!! You can't leave! Don't you want to stay with me through my whole labor and meet my baby?!?"--clearly she did not because we soon met our new nurse. She was the unsolicited advice giving, "push! you can do it" nurse..ugh! I was given Pitocin because I was only 4cms and at 9:15am they inserted an internal monitor, that touched the babys head, to monitor the baby and the contractions better. 

 I wasn’t making any progress. They started talking about the possibility of a c-section if I wasn’t moving along in a little bit. At 9:45am they started running fluids through a blood warmer and it went through a tube & into my uterus so the baby had more cushioning on the cord during contractions.

At 11am I apparently felt that it was time to throw up then the Dr came in for more c-section talk. I obviously didn't want to have a c/s but I would do whatever it took to get baby out safe so I very quickly came to terms and was fine with it.
I signed the surgery papers and the nurse started prepping us for how the surgery would go etc..

Shortly after, the dr came in to check me and I was 10cm. Apparently it was time to push…uh WHAT?!
I had it set in my mind that now I was getting a c/s...I mentally replayed all the c/s deliveries I'd seen on tv and prepared for that but now I had to switch from that to pushing..ya, I was a little thrown off my game.

I started pushing at 11:55am. I couldn’t feel the contractions in the beginning because the epi was still wearing off but after awhile I could tell when I was having them bc of the awful pressure. Instead of watching the monitor the annoying nurse was chatting away like we were at a fucking cocktail party so I constantly had to say, "is THAT a contraction?" I started getting really tired, out of breath and felt defeated. Around 1pm I started crying & talking about how she was going to live in there forever because I was convinced my muscles were giving out and I couldn't do it anymore. After 10+hours the super zen laboring woman left my body and a defeated, uncertain & exhausted woman entered.

Hayden Debra finally made her debut on June 8^th at 1:08pm! 

She weighed 7lbs 13oz was 18.5 inches long and her head was 34.5cm

She was perfect

She was put on her hysterically crying, joy filled mommy (which is why our first picture together [below] is such an unattractive one)but was quickly swooped away. She wasn't crying and people seemed worried. We were worried. As I looked up at my husband he just stared blank faced at the nurses while they vigorously rubbed our quiet girl. We asked if everything was ok and they finally decided, yes she was she was just super calm. I got her back and started sucking her hands so hard- I knew this one was going to be a good eater..I have no idea where she could've gotten that..

I handed her off to Anthony while I got all fixed up and he just in awe. She was amazing! No jaundice, no eating problems, no colick--actually, we didn't even hear her cry until the second day. People kept mentioning how calm she was & how she was the only baby in the nursery who wasn't screaming--we didn't know then but this would speak volumes about the baby/toddler she would become.

We fall deeper in love every day and are just as obsessed with her as the day we met her! 

 Jumping Jax Designs is redecorating CaliLand!! 

Stay tuned for the unveiling!