Before I ate dessert I wrote this post....

I was watching Oprah and the guest was the author of a book called Women Food and God.

A quote from the synopsis:

If you suffer about your relationship with food -- you eat too much or too little, think about what you will eat constantly or try not to think about it at all -- you can be free. Just look down at your plate. The answers are there. Don't run. Look. Because when we welcome what we most want to avoid, we contact the part of ourselves that is fresh and alive. We touch the life we truly want and evoke divinity itself.

 She is basically saying that us overeaters/over indulgers are doing so for a deeper reason and she believes that in order to figure out what that reason is, and therefore stop the vicious cycle, is to really listen to your body, hunger and emotions and tend to them instead of eating them away.

I am an eater. My worst habit is eating when I am bored. Nothing to do? Eat. Nothing on tv? Eat. Noone to hang with? Eat. 

A woman in the audience stood up and asked the exact question I was asking myself: "What if there is no deeper reasoning for why I eat the way I do...what if I just really like food?" ...and I do. I really REALLY like food. To a fault actually because I cannot always control it. I do believe I have an addiction (to some degree) to food and have discussed it with family members and friends. Its not like I am not going to rehab because I am a fat ass-lets me serious. I have a sweet tooth, perhaps a sweet brain is more accurate, and have since I was little. Something will pop in my head ("oo..reeses" "oo.. mint chocolate chip on a cone with chocolate sprinkles.") and I usually cannot stop thinking about that thing until I eat it. 50% of the time the things I am craving are not in my house and I physically have to go out and get them to stop obsessing over them. Its like pregnancy cravings...but the pregnancy started when I was a kid and Im still growing the food baby. Its kinda ridiculous.

The response the author gave to this woman was something along the lines of, there has to be a deeper meaning and this is how you can figure it out..blah blah blah. Sorry, author lady but I am just a food obsessed eater. I was raised to always confront and talk openly about my feelings. I don't hide things. I have personally and openly confronted all things in my life. Anything that was hurtful, traumatic, stressful etc.. I have worked on these things and continue to work on them..thats what it means to be always evolving. I am always growing as a person..and because of this I know that I am not eating for a deeper reason. I would love to know what author lady would have to say about me

To be honest though, I wish I had a deeper, hidden secret that was the reason for my eating because then I could stop stuffing my face. Instead I am just a dimpled ass dessert gorger.

 

Oh, Crumbs cupcakes...how I love thee so.