I have been questioning if I should write a post like this...a religion type thang. But I wanted to talk about this because its something I have a hard time understanding and was hoping that anyone reading, that does understand it or lives it, can explain it to me.
I try not to judge...but I am human so I do (..and if you think you don't and just thought poorly of me for admitting I judge, well my friend, welcome to the club.) I try to understand where others are coming from as often and deeply as possible and if I can't understand it I try to leave it at a "to each their own" type of view. This particular thing, though, has been stewing in my head for some time. I talked to a friend of mine, who was raise in the Christian religion, and she couldn't explain it or understand it either.
I have noticed that many people in the blogging world are religious and devout Christians. No problems there...but I have noticed a few mentioning how their love of God/Jesus comes first, then their spouse then their child(ren) then themselves.
I cannot swallow this. (side bar: I just deleted a whole paragraph apologizing for possibly offending anyone w/this post ..but I don't think I should have to. I think it is better to ask questions about what you don't understand in an attempt to understand it than have strict views on things you know nothing of.) First of all, I don't really feel like I need to rank things in my life but if I had to I would probably put my child first. She is a helpless being who did not ask to be put on this earth..we created her because we had the intention to love and care for her. To pretect her from any and everything and give her all she needs in this world to be healthy and happy. I am in no way saying that people who apply the aforementioned ranking system don't care for and love their babies unconditionally but I do wonder why their child must come next to last? If my daughter and my husband were starving and I had 1 piece of something to eat...the little lady gets it. (assuming sharing isn't an option)
I also don't think it is fair for people to put themselves last. If you don't care for yourself-mentally, emotionally and physically-you wont be there for your spouse and child...you should be ranked just as high as everyone else. Perhaps my qualm with this ranking thing is that I feel it undervalues whoever is doing the ranking by putting them last. I, personally, do not know if there is a God since I have never met him/her but I do wonder that, if there is a God, wouldn't he want his believers to put them and their families before himself...because in the end, isn't God supposed to be a selfless being? I'm not sure if my rambling is even making sense but I do know that I would truly appreciate if someone could explain this to me further so I could better understand where this comes from and why it is the way it is. Please do so nicely as I am not trying to offend anyone..I am genuinely interested in understanding. I may not agree with it but I would love to understand it.
daily cuteness
I don't think this was an offensive post in the slightest and I truly enjoy your blog and I am a passionate Christian:). I completely understand how it could seem odd or even unreasonable for God to ask us to love Him above all else. I'm trying to figure out the best way to word things here...hmmm, the bible teaches us that we were created for the sole purpose to praise the creator. He created Adam and Eve for "company" and existence was perfect for them...and they were in perfect relationship with God. He was everything to them. I imagine the garden of Eden was probably like the Heaven that we all hope to be in someday. They blew it as we all do and that balance was forever broken and lost. God asks us to desire Him first because it ISN'T easy because yes, human nature wants to naturally put Him last because we cannot relate to the unseen as well as we can relate to what we can touch and see. God totally understands the depths of our love for our children and our family and HE even created that love to be that amazing...all he asks, even though it may seem like a tall order is that we understand that these things came from Him so why wouldn't we want to love Him first above all else..it doesn't mean we don't love our families or kids, just that we know that everything is God's because he creates all things and we are grateful for his gifts. Gosh, I'm sure I haven't communicated this well at all but, anyhoo...I too understand that people walk different walks and I respect you wherever you are at and enjoy your candid blog posts:) Thanks for being you!
ReplyDeleteCasey-you are wonderful! Thank you for your explanation, compliments and for being YoU! Xo
ReplyDeleteI've been following your blog for awhile now. I know what you are talking about and have seen the same wording on blogs like that. I, too, am a proclaiming Christian and while it makes sense to me, I can understand it not really making sense to others. I can't speak for others, but this are my thoughts...
ReplyDeleteBeing a Christian first is because it is part of my identity. I can never lose that. It is who I am. God first means that I am to submit to him above all things and he is priority. But keep in mind, that Jesus loves my husband and child even more than I do. So it's not putting them second/third. But, God might call us to something that might seem "not-best" for the family, but we do it anyway. (i.e. my hubby just joined the service. He has 8 months of training. We have an almost two year old and a baby on the way.) Sure, it's not ideal and isn't the best for me, his wife, or Jackson, his son. But, we all felt it's what he needed to do. So, we supported his decision. I am sure it might not make sense, but the key here is that even though God does come first, He cares much more for the well-being of everyone on this earth more than we do, so by trusting in Him, I can know it's the best for my family.
Before titling my blog (wife hat, mom hat) I considered that reversing the order. But I just felt that I was a wife first. I am bonded to my husband. I try hard (not always succeeding) to make sure my kids don't always come in front of his needs. Now, it doesn't mean that I don't put my kids first. If we had one piece of bread, my kid would get it first, too. But sometimes, I have let my kids cry when I welcome him home from work.
I would never say, "third" or "lastly" I am a mother. For me, all of these things tie together. My family is what I am all about. God provided me my family. We love God in our family. Etc...
I don't think I forget myself when I put myself down the list. When I do put others first, I find myself finding personal joy through putting them first. Okay, not always. But I try. But I also make sure to do things for myself and my family is making a big sacrifice for me to finish grad school.
Wow, sorry so long!! :)
Wow. Casey and Amy said it all! I pretty much feel the same way. And just to throw in something else for you to think about, Josh and I picture a "triangle relationship" between us and God. Picture this: God is at the top of our marriage triangle. Josh and I are the bottom two corners. God is above me, and God is above Josh. Josh and I are equal together under God. Confused yet? Its just a way that we keep our relationship in check. So that neither I, nor Josh ever gets a big head and "lords over the other one". Our pastor taught us this illustration.
ReplyDeleteYou all did an awesome job of explaining! Katie that is a very good illustration-I much prefer the equality vs husband above wife.
ReplyDeleteMy babies come first regardless. I agree with you Cali.. there should be no ranking to begin with.
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